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Your Own Fire

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From the ashes you rose?
So happy and joyful with a new man
Another wedding, a new set of vows
Back on track with your life plan

You blame me for ruining your life
Hold me responsible for the fire
Claim you were nothing but a good wife
Say I burned our marriage on a pyre

But you built the fire, log by log:

a log called disrespect
a log called control
a log called contempt
a log called dismissive
a log called sarcasm
a log called neglect
a log called demands
a log called unappreciated
a log called selfishness
a log called indifference

You made me take all the blame
Said it was all my lust and desire
While I may have set the flame
You are the one who built the fire

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Mary Ford is dead to me

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Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s dead to to me
She’s dead to me

Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s buried in the ground

Mary Ford is dead to me
She betrayed me
No loyalty

Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s buried in the ground

Mary Ford is dead to me
She turned on me
She’s hated me

Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s buried in the ground

Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s badly hurt me
So very deeply

Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s buried in the ground

Mary Ford is dead to me
She love conspiracy
And controversy

Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s buried in the ground

Mary Ford is dead to me
Says she loves me
But really hates me

Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s buried in the ground

Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s and evil harpy
Wrecking ships at sea

Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s buried in the ground

Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s dead to me
She’s dead to me

Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s buried in the ground

Broken heart shards

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Your heart broke again and you throw the sharp pieces at me in anger
So many times you’ve cut me with the shards of your heart that’s shattered

Nicks and cuts oozing blood, soaking my clothes red as my head gets light
Your broken heart constantly shoved in my face and used to attack me as we fight

I tried valiantly to protect it, to guard it, to keep it safe from harm and damage
Your heart was already so damaged, so broken, so fragile it isn’t even sage in a carriage

Let alone out in the world dancing, drinking, promising to be strong and love me well
Still I tried to carry it through the storms and attacks from you, but sometimes I fell

Now my hands are shredded, glass embedded from all the fights and violent attacks
I can’t even carry all the brokenness of your heart as it crumbles and cracks

In my eagerness to love and desire to carry your heart and protect it I continue
Even though it’s slowly killing me while it pierces my flesh and slices my sinew

Untangle the Knot

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I can’t untangle this knot
too tight my finger bleed
to be free is what I really need
but my efforts are for naught

I can’t untangle this knot
it binds me and keeps me stuck
as I lay face first in brackish muck
my efforts are for naught

I can’t untangle this knot
though it painfully constricts my lungs
and my heart beats in my chest like drums
my efforts are for naught

I can’t untangle this knot
while others grow and run and play
I remain tied to my misery every day
and my efforts are for naught

I can’t untangle this knot
in anger I struggle against the ropes
until I collapse exhausted, bereft of hopes
because my efforts are for naught

I can’t untangle this knot
it baffles me like a puzzle I cannot solve
a constant tension that cannot be resolved
still my efforts are for naught

I can’t untangle this knot
and resign myself to forever being bound
by my own demons who will always surround
because my efforts are for naught

I will never untangle this knot

Poison Love

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You found me mouth parched and lips cracked

Soul tarnished and dull long before failed to shine

Lost in a maze of demands and expectations no way back

So busy pleasing someone else’s desires I forgot mine

And you gently offered me a sip from your cup

Like an oasis in a desert I drank from your hand

A mangy dirty dog the water I lapped it up

For a moment it cooled the burning sand

Certain that I survived the perils of a dragon

I rested my head in your soft lap as you stroked my hair

Confident my heart would never again be abandoned

Picnics and walks holding hands in the night air

A cramp began deep in my belly aching and groaning

I ignored the pain though and continued to thirst

Trying to fill the ever increasing hole growing

Putting everything else aside I put your needs first

The pain spread from my belly to my bones

Like drops of blood spreading through clean water

You heard neither my words nor my groans

Even while we were together we felt farther

Sickness throughout my body at last attacked my heart

I tried to resist by clinging to your love drinking more

Each sip only turned what once was warm dark

What could have been rich and beautiful was made poor

When you took your cup elswhere to offer your drink

I was left to ponder what our love had become

It started fresh and fragrant before it began to stink

I lament I learned so late your love was poison 

Hiding the storm

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A storm rages and rains, wind blows and swirls

Trees are uprooted and branches broken

Homes wrecked wounding little boys and girls

Never an ill word of the storm is spoken

Lives ever shattered pretend all is well

Though hurts run deep into each soul

Fear gripping each victim like a magical spell 

Masks on all keeping appearance the goal

No one can know the damage the storm wrought 

The hollowed out souls who act like normal

Broken boards, crumbled foundations on each lot

Never able to support a happy home at all

But pretending was the goal, never admit the storm

Each carrying his own burden silently the norm

Mother’s Day Poem 2015

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Mothers love
you hate
Mothers heal
you hurt
Mothers give
you take
Mothers nurture
you suffocate
Mothers hold
you crush
Mothers feed
you starve
Mothers support
you gossip
Mothers accept
you judge
Mothers remain
you left
Mothers sacrifice
you horded
Mothers forgive
you resent
Mothers understand
you blame
Mothers advise
you criticise
Mother are strong
you are weak
Mothers are wonderful
you are not one

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