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Shaving

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So young and insecure

I just wanted to venture

Through life with loving family

I needed you to guide me

Body changing so confused

With no idea how I should use

A razor to shave the random hairs

Filled with tremendous fears

Nothing but a bashful teen

You handed me razor and cream

No words of advice or info

Just tossed me tools and let me go

For the next few years there after

I tried to discover the answer

To why to I made myself bleed

And why my father didn’t show me

Just another thing I had to learn alone

And another failure in my home

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Mary Ford is dead to me

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Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s dead to to me
She’s dead to me

Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s buried in the ground

Mary Ford is dead to me
She betrayed me
No loyalty

Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s buried in the ground

Mary Ford is dead to me
She turned on me
She’s hated me

Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s buried in the ground

Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s badly hurt me
So very deeply

Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s buried in the ground

Mary Ford is dead to me
She love conspiracy
And controversy

Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s buried in the ground

Mary Ford is dead to me
Says she loves me
But really hates me

Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s buried in the ground

Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s and evil harpy
Wrecking ships at sea

Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s buried in the ground

Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s dead to me
She’s dead to me

Mary Ford is dead to me
She’s buried in the ground

Our Love Catastrophe

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Round and round we go again
Love and hate and joy and sin

Laughter anger smiles and tears
How many days how many years

Can we continue to do the same?
A hurtful love a hurtful game

Like two broken and beaten souls
Lost with only each other to hold

Neither really feeling good or loved
Yet unable to drag ourselves from the mud

Cut and bruised stained and beaten
Our love changes with the season

Warm in spring and summer
But always returns to winter

Where love freezes and dies
And our hearts weep and cry

Then again weather warms sun does shine
And we believe it will be different this time

Yet it is only the beginning of our cycle
Never ending like our denial

That we are not actually meant to be
Our love is always a catastrophe.

Broken heart shards

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Your heart broke again and you throw the sharp pieces at me in anger
So many times you’ve cut me with the shards of your heart that’s shattered

Nicks and cuts oozing blood, soaking my clothes red as my head gets light
Your broken heart constantly shoved in my face and used to attack me as we fight

I tried valiantly to protect it, to guard it, to keep it safe from harm and damage
Your heart was already so damaged, so broken, so fragile it isn’t even sage in a carriage

Let alone out in the world dancing, drinking, promising to be strong and love me well
Still I tried to carry it through the storms and attacks from you, but sometimes I fell

Now my hands are shredded, glass embedded from all the fights and violent attacks
I can’t even carry all the brokenness of your heart as it crumbles and cracks

In my eagerness to love and desire to carry your heart and protect it I continue
Even though it’s slowly killing me while it pierces my flesh and slices my sinew

Untangle the Knot

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I can’t untangle this knot
too tight my finger bleed
to be free is what I really need
but my efforts are for naught

I can’t untangle this knot
it binds me and keeps me stuck
as I lay face first in brackish muck
my efforts are for naught

I can’t untangle this knot
though it painfully constricts my lungs
and my heart beats in my chest like drums
my efforts are for naught

I can’t untangle this knot
while others grow and run and play
I remain tied to my misery every day
and my efforts are for naught

I can’t untangle this knot
in anger I struggle against the ropes
until I collapse exhausted, bereft of hopes
because my efforts are for naught

I can’t untangle this knot
it baffles me like a puzzle I cannot solve
a constant tension that cannot be resolved
still my efforts are for naught

I can’t untangle this knot
and resign myself to forever being bound
by my own demons who will always surround
because my efforts are for naught

I will never untangle this knot

Hiding the storm

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A storm rages and rains, wind blows and swirls

Trees are uprooted and branches broken

Homes wrecked wounding little boys and girls

Never an ill word of the storm is spoken

Lives ever shattered pretend all is well

Though hurts run deep into each soul

Fear gripping each victim like a magical spell 

Masks on all keeping appearance the goal

No one can know the damage the storm wrought 

The hollowed out souls who act like normal

Broken boards, crumbled foundations on each lot

Never able to support a happy home at all

But pretending was the goal, never admit the storm

Each carrying his own burden silently the norm

Mother’s Day Poem 2015

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Mothers love
you hate
Mothers heal
you hurt
Mothers give
you take
Mothers nurture
you suffocate
Mothers hold
you crush
Mothers feed
you starve
Mothers support
you gossip
Mothers accept
you judge
Mothers remain
you left
Mothers sacrifice
you horded
Mothers forgive
you resent
Mothers understand
you blame
Mothers advise
you criticise
Mother are strong
you are weak
Mothers are wonderful
you are not one

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