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Limerick: Orthodontist

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At the orthodontist office

My kids’ smiles will be flawless

And the staff is so kind

But they never remind

How much this is killing my wallet

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Limerick: Modern Dating

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It’s never been easy to date

There’s lots of decisions to make

But now if the date goes crappy

And she wakes up unhappy

She’ll accuse you of engaging in rape

Eclipse Limerick

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Solar eclipse in the sky
Made day dark as night
But if you’re too dumb
And you look at the sun
The sun will burn out your eyes

Limerick: At the Carwash

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My car is so dirty it’s a sin
I’m taking it to the carwash again
But knowing it will
Only be clean until
My kids get their dirty asses back in

Limerick: Summer

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As a season Summer cannot be beat
BBQs and swimming in the heat
But I stay inside
When the temperature’s high
So I don’t get sweaty and stink

Trips with kids: Limerick 

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I love summers with children transporting
On trips to theme parks adoring
But when they start to whine
About how much longer the time
It makes me prefer waterboarding

Summer in Fresno Limerick

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Everyone loves the summer
No other season is funner
But here in Fresno
Where it’s an inferno
We sizzle like bacon as we suffer

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