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Untangle the Knot

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I can’t untangle this knot
too tight my finger bleed
to be free is what I really need
but my efforts are for naught

I can’t untangle this knot
it binds me and keeps me stuck
as I lay face first in brackish muck
my efforts are for naught

I can’t untangle this knot
though it painfully constricts my lungs
and my heart beats in my chest like drums
my efforts are for naught

I can’t untangle this knot
while others grow and run and play
I remain tied to my misery every day
and my efforts are for naught

I can’t untangle this knot
in anger I struggle against the ropes
until I collapse exhausted, bereft of hopes
because my efforts are for naught

I can’t untangle this knot
it baffles me like a puzzle I cannot solve
a constant tension that cannot be resolved
still my efforts are for naught

I can’t untangle this knot
and resign myself to forever being bound
by my own demons who will always surround
because my efforts are for naught

I will never untangle this knot

Poison Love

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You found me mouth parched and lips cracked

Soul tarnished and dull long before failed to shine

Lost in a maze of demands and expectations no way back

So busy pleasing someone else’s desires I forgot mine

And you gently offered me a sip from your cup

Like an oasis in a desert I drank from your hand

A mangy dirty dog the water I lapped it up

For a moment it cooled the burning sand

Certain that I survived the perils of a dragon

I rested my head in your soft lap as you stroked my hair

Confident my heart would never again be abandoned

Picnics and walks holding hands in the night air

A cramp began deep in my belly aching and groaning

I ignored the pain though and continued to thirst

Trying to fill the ever increasing hole growing

Putting everything else aside I put your needs first

The pain spread from my belly to my bones

Like drops of blood spreading through clean water

You heard neither my words nor my groans

Even while we were together we felt farther

Sickness throughout my body at last attacked my heart

I tried to resist by clinging to your love drinking more

Each sip only turned what once was warm dark

What could have been rich and beautiful was made poor

When you took your cup elswhere to offer your drink

I was left to ponder what our love had become

It started fresh and fragrant before it began to stink

I lament I learned so late your love was poison 

Hiding the storm

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A storm rages and rains, wind blows and swirls

Trees are uprooted and branches broken

Homes wrecked wounding little boys and girls

Never an ill word of the storm is spoken

Lives ever shattered pretend all is well

Though hurts run deep into each soul

Fear gripping each victim like a magical spell 

Masks on all keeping appearance the goal

No one can know the damage the storm wrought 

The hollowed out souls who act like normal

Broken boards, crumbled foundations on each lot

Never able to support a happy home at all

But pretending was the goal, never admit the storm

Each carrying his own burden silently the norm

Why Didn’t You Fight?

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I’m upset…here’s what it looks like

Why didn’t you fight?
for a chance to live
even one more day
Why didn’t you fight?

Why didn’t you fight?
you were always so strong
we even called you the rock
Why didn’t you fight?

Why didn’t you fight?
against all the odds
in the face of death
Why didn’t you fight?

Why didn’t you fight?
I needed to see you could
I needed to be proud of you
Why didn’t you fight?

Why didn’t you fight?
even to get out of bed
to do something brave
Why didn’t you fight?

Why didn’t you fight?
we all have to die one day
but better to do it with strength
Why didn’t you fight?

Why didn’t you fight?
for your family to see
for your own pride and dignity
Why didn’t you fight?

Why didn’t you fight?
instead crawled off to die
weak you wilted like a flower in sun
Why didn’t you fight?

Why didn’t you fight?
so many things you could have done
all left undone, not one you did
Why didn’t you fight?

Why didn’t you fight?
we begged and pleaded
you chose the siren’s song
Why didn’t you fight?

Why didn’t you fight?
Was it the tumor confusing you?
Were you lost early on?
Why didn’t you fight?

Why didn’t you fight?
I watched you die laying down
I won’t dare lay down and die
I swear to myself I’ll die fighting.