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Worry About Yourself

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As a man lay dying, everyone reacted
No thought, just instinct enacted
Grief, sorrow, despair over us descended
As he breathed raspy breaths and his life ended

In that moment and the ones that came after
Conflicts grew, sparks turned into fire
Egos wounded, feelings hurt, tempers flare
All worried most about themselves not what’s fair

But I cannot hold on to these hurts any longer
They do not serve me nor honor my father
So I let got even if they are said in anger
And hope everyone else can get over their bothers

Don’t like that my mom said goodbye?
You’re not the only one who cared he died.

Mad that I spent time with her later?
Really? With my mother?

Upset my sister brought sentimental things home?
But ready to ransack your mother’s own.

Thanking God for answering our prayers?
He didn’t head my cares.

Hurt you didn’t get to be by his bed as he died?
Care about me? Or only your pride?

Bitter for volunteering to avoid the service?
What did I do to deserve this?

I’ve a drinking problem for three beers that night?
You definitely don’t have that right.

My Dadd is dying, you say he’s disappointed with me?
Leave me alone. You can’t love me.

I’m getting you coffee as he draws his last breath?
I wished it was you called by death.

Bragging that you convinced him to change his benefactor?
You’ll burn in hell for ever after.

Sent me a picture of your check for his death?
You’re an empty shell, with nothing left.

Don’t tell me how to handle my Dadd’s death
You don’t know the pain I deal with
Or how badly he is missed
Your love is conditional but judgement is quick

I’m working to remove my anger from the shelf
Do what Dadd said and, “worry about yourself”

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Reduced to Dust

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A hard, thick, stubborn Rock stood strong
immovable
powerful
inspirational
Able to resist storms all season long.

The Rock remained unchanged for ages
always solid
always hardy
always present
Was always there through weather changes.

The Rock didn’t fret as a storm approached
storm raged
storm roared
storm struck
Storm attacked and the Rock broke.

The Rock shattered, reduced to dust
dust in the wind
dust in the sea
dust in the earth
In spite of its strength the Rock was crushed.

The landscape forever changed without it
lamenting
mourning
longing
Though it is gone, those who knew will not forget.

Why Didn’t You Fight?

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I’m upset…here’s what it looks like

Why didn’t you fight?
for a chance to live
even one more day
Why didn’t you fight?

Why didn’t you fight?
you were always so strong
we even called you the rock
Why didn’t you fight?

Why didn’t you fight?
against all the odds
in the face of death
Why didn’t you fight?

Why didn’t you fight?
I needed to see you could
I needed to be proud of you
Why didn’t you fight?

Why didn’t you fight?
even to get out of bed
to do something brave
Why didn’t you fight?

Why didn’t you fight?
we all have to die one day
but better to do it with strength
Why didn’t you fight?

Why didn’t you fight?
for your family to see
for your own pride and dignity
Why didn’t you fight?

Why didn’t you fight?
instead crawled off to die
weak you wilted like a flower in sun
Why didn’t you fight?

Why didn’t you fight?
so many things you could have done
all left undone, not one you did
Why didn’t you fight?

Why didn’t you fight?
we begged and pleaded
you chose the siren’s song
Why didn’t you fight?

Why didn’t you fight?
Was it the tumor confusing you?
Were you lost early on?
Why didn’t you fight?

Why didn’t you fight?
I watched you die laying down
I won’t dare lay down and die
I swear to myself I’ll die fighting.

The Rock

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Always it’s there
Strong and immovable
Though wind and waves crash against it
It stands the test of time everlasting
Through good times and bad you endured
SO tough, strong and fearless
You’re always there
My Dadd