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Been a While

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It’s been a while

Since you’ve hurt me this badly

It was just a matter of time sadly

When I needed you, you weren’t here

You were out with friends drinking beer

And more? How will I ever know?

I guess it wasn’t even that long ago

That you blew me off and blew someone else

Then made me feel the fault was in myself

So talented at making me the bad guy

While you have fun and roll so high

All the while blaming me for your deeds

Leaving me with my unfulfilled needs

Then mocking me for the feelings I have

Holding my broken heart as you laugh

And spit in my face while I cry

Hurting me to the point I’d rather die

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TBT: Experiencing Death

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I am but a young man.
I am but a young man.
I don’t want to die.
I don’t want to die.
I will go to school for escape.
I will face the Death.
I want the Country to help me.
I want to help the Country.
I go away to learn at school.
I go away to live in Death.
School is so stressful.
Death is terrifying.
I know I can make it.
I don’t think I will survive.
I fear nothing at all.
I fear for my very life.
I curse the Country.
I fight for the Country.
I read about the Death.
I live the Death.
I don’t think there is really a Death.
I cannot escape the Death.
I will never die.
The Death will swallow me.
I drink with friends in happiness.
I drink alone to forget.
I am completely healthy.
I am numb with pain.
I am full of life.
The Death took my life.
I know everything.
Nobody knows anything.
My whole life is ahead of me.
My life was left behind.
Here’s to life.
Here’s to Death.
I am a great man.
I am a dead man.

It’s Over Now

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In your youth
You fled the noose
The Pretty Noose
That sought your youth

But years went on
You sang your song
We loved your song
And cheered you on

The noose came calling
While darkness falling
Your body falling
As fans were calling

All quiet now
So take a bow
Your final bow
It’s over now

Embrace the Darkness

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Embrace the darkness
It ate at your soul
Let it give you rest
And fill that gaping hole

The dark will swallow the pain
Lift you from this fallen world
Though we’ll never be the same
Fly away with black wings furled

Your work here is complete
Thank you for enduring torment
To sign songs so bitter sweet
Rage and pain for our enjoyment

We drank from your sour cup
Tasting the anger and sorrow
We savored every last drop
Thirsty we’ll have to continue tomorrow

But you can rest at last
Long deserved and well earned
Finally pain, anger and depression passed
Embrace the dark for which you yearned

R.I.P Chris Cornell

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Say hello to Heaven Chris
It’s painful how much you’ll be missed

My heart breaks to think you’re gone
That you’ll never write another song

My ears will ever long to hear your voice
And poetic words with eloquent choice

Sometimes low and deep, stirring the soul
To loud and scratchy raising the pulse

Your pain spoke to me and helped me cope
Channeled my rage to avoid the rope

I’m sorry the rope found you my friend
Suppose all succumb to its beckon in the end

Thank you for sharing your pain and torment
Your art will endure, leave a lasting imprint

I will mourn you ahead in some black days
Embrace the black hole sun’s chilling warm rays

Though too short you are great among men
A true artist to the bitter sweet end

Worry About Yourself

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As a man lay dying, everyone reacted
No thought, just instinct enacted
Grief, sorrow, despair over us descended
As he breathed raspy breaths and his life ended

In that moment and the ones that came after
Conflicts grew, sparks turned into fire
Egos wounded, feelings hurt, tempers flare
All worried most about themselves not what’s fair

But I cannot hold on to these hurts any longer
They do not serve me nor honor my father
So I let got even if they are said in anger
And hope everyone else can get over their bothers

Don’t like that my mom said goodbye?
You’re not the only one who cared he died.

Mad that I spent time with her later?
Really? With my mother?

Upset my sister brought sentimental things home?
But ready to ransack your mother’s own.

Thanking God for answering our prayers?
He didn’t head my cares.

Hurt you didn’t get to be by his bed as he died?
Care about me? Or only your pride?

Bitter for volunteering to avoid the service?
What did I do to deserve this?

I’ve a drinking problem for three beers that night?
You definitely don’t have that right.

My Dadd is dying, you say he’s disappointed with me?
Leave me alone. You can’t love me.

I’m getting you coffee as he draws his last breath?
I wished it was you called by death.

Bragging that you convinced him to change his benefactor?
You’ll burn in hell for ever after.

Sent me a picture of your check for his death?
You’re an empty shell, with nothing left.

Don’t tell me how to handle my Dadd’s death
You don’t know the pain I deal with
Or how badly he is missed
Your love is conditional but judgement is quick

I’m working to remove my anger from the shelf
Do what Dadd said and, “worry about yourself”

Reduced to Dust

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A hard, thick, stubborn Rock stood strong
immovable
powerful
inspirational
Able to resist storms all season long.

The Rock remained unchanged for ages
always solid
always hardy
always present
Was always there through weather changes.

The Rock didn’t fret as a storm approached
storm raged
storm roared
storm struck
Storm attacked and the Rock broke.

The Rock shattered, reduced to dust
dust in the wind
dust in the sea
dust in the earth
In spite of its strength the Rock was crushed.

The landscape forever changed without it
lamenting
mourning
longing
Though it is gone, those who knew will not forget.

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