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Eclipse Limerick

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Solar eclipse in the sky
Made day dark as night
But if you’re too dumb
And you look at the sun
The sun will burn out your eyes

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Limerick: At the Carwash

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My car is so dirty it’s a sin
I’m taking it to the carwash again
But knowing it will
Only be clean until
My kids get their dirty asses back in

Limerick: Summer

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As a season Summer cannot be beat
BBQs and swimming in the heat
But I stay inside
When the temperature’s high
So I don’t get sweaty and stink

Summer in Fresno Limerick

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Everyone loves the summer
No other season is funner
But here in Fresno
Where it’s an inferno
We sizzle like bacon as we suffer

Limerick for the Dodgers

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I love the Dodgers in the highest.

Their team is packed with young talents.

Yet although they win divisions,

They’ve yet to become champions,

And can’t beat the goddamned Giants. 

Morning Coffee

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My morning cup is so important 

I’m careful to not forget it

It warms my body and wakes me up

and helps me use the toilet 

Fat Tuesday Limerick

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Lent is the time we find something to quit
So our hearts to God we can better commit
we all can be more holy
and feel more godly
But today’s fat Tuesday so show me your tits!